A Mini Mommy

What a great little helper you are Annalee. You loo out for your little brothers like no other. I know that I get testy with you at times about it, but your attentiveness has saved me from many an error. You notice when I am making a mistake and help me fix it. It is only my impatience and laziness that keeps me from recognizing that you are making things easier and helping me be a better mom. I love your tenacity and determination.

Be Thou an Example

I have been having trouble home-schooling lately. I have thought a lot about why this is, and I have come to the conclusion that I am not being a very good example. I am reminded of the Thomas Jefferson Education statement, "You, not them" and structure time not content." I know that I get caught up in the everyday mundane parts of life and forget to slow down and create rather than just get through life.

I will do better by practicing piano for myself, just as I want you to do. I will soon be getting my own math books that will help me remember all the things I forgot from years past, and move on to things I never learned before. I will again read on my own, and look for reading opportunities with you as well. I dedicate the first half of the day to you, and the second half to my own learning. I go through spurts and lulls. Once I recognize the lull, I am responsible to pull myself out of it, and move into a high. May the Lord be with me as I rededicate myself to this awesome challenge of being a mother and teacher.

Sometimes it's tough...

Alyn, you are having such a hard time learning how to react when you don't like something. I see you stop and think, and then get frustrated, not knowing anything else but to force what you want on your little brother. After all it's so easy to get your way when you are bigger.

I realize that I am not the best example of this. When my words aren't doing "the trick" I often resort to raising my voice, or punishments, instead of using my head to come up with alternate solutions. If I as a parent have a hard time with this, it's no wonder that a 5-year-old struggles. I am working on this challenge, and I promise to be patient as you work on it as well. I believe it is a life-long venture.

You are such a sweet kid. I hope to inspire you to use that sweet disposition to your advantage when you face unexpected circumstances. I love you.

It's easy to forget sometimes how important the little things are. I get so caught up in getting things done that I forget why I set out to do them in the first place. I am impatient with you over the most trivial of subjects and neglect to teach you about the true blessings of life. I look to God to keep reminding me to "choose the better part" each day, each hour, each minute. You are so important to me. It's not the laundry or the dishes that "need" to get done, it is the learning and growing that come by small things each and every day. This doesn't mean that the dishes don't get done, but that my focus is you, not the housework. Help me remember. Forgive me when I forget.

Growing Up

Sarah Noel, you are so beautiful. It is amazing to watch you grow into a young woman. I remember when you were such a little girl, and I thought to myself that you were a beauty, and you were going to give me some stress someday because of it. You are only ten now, but I am there. I hope that I have taught you that you are an incredible person, that you are beautiful not just on the outside, but on the inside. You are unique. No one else is just like you, and no one ever will be. It is only a few short years before you will be dating (whew!) and I will use every minute of that to reinforce how much potential you have, and how incredible you are. You continually surprise me with your love and generosity. I have been blessed beyond anything I could have imagined to be your mother, to be a part of your becoming. I love you, girl.

Happy Birthday Jayden...

I was reflecting today on how blessed I am to be your mother. I remember finding out for the first time that I was carrying a new life inside of me. I was terrified of all the ways life would change. Would I be able to date my husband still? Would we be able to afford all the expenses that would now come our way? How would I be able to teach this little person all that life is about? I was humbled with my responsibilities.

As I consider these things now, I realize, change is what life is all about. There is no standing still. I have grown so much over the last 12 years, and I wouldn't trade my experiences for anything. I know that I have made mistakes (too many to enumerate here) but I have become better because I put myself out there to improve.

I want you, and all my children to know of my thoughts, of my intentions, and most of all, of my love for you. So much in life is forgotten the moment it passes. I have dedicated my life to the Lord, to my husband, to you, and to all my children. I want that to be remembered and passed on beyond just my memory, or even yours. I hope these notes benefit you in some small way, to let you know you are loved, you always have been, and you always will be.